Help Me Understand

My family and friends can always tell when I am in research mode for an article or book…the number of articles that I find inundate my various social media accounts.

I came across the following article and it hit home on various levels Black Women, Let Your Anger Out: Chronic stress is killing us. We can’t keep repressing our rage. The author, Joshunda Sanders, describes the emotional stress of Black women in the workplace. This article hit me on so many levels as I can relate to the façade that I am encouraged to maintain at all times in the workplace.

As a professional woman of color, I cannot show the full range of emotion that any normal person may experience. Granted, 85% of the time I am a happy person but there is 15% when I am not “fast, fun, and friendly” (this was a motivational tag that was used at Target when I worked there in college). There are times when I go to the office sad, mad, and irritated. I have to put my game face on and move within the organization as if I do not have a care in the world.

I have witnessed where male colleagues have thrown items, cursed, slammed coffee mugs, and various other physical demonstrations of their emotions. I have seen female colleagues cry, shut down mid conversation, and have angry fits in the office. I have not seen where a person of color, male or female, has shown a strong emotion (outside of joviality) in the workplace and it be labeled “that is just how they are” and the display is brushed off. People of color, specifically African Americans, know that our displays of emotion are not met with the same brushoff as our Caucasian counterparts.

Why are people of color held to a different standard than others? This is an area of diversity that many in leadership positions are uncomfortable in addressing. Why? Some in leadership positions feel that If they address this area, they are acknowledging discrimination exists. No one wants to be seen as discriminating. Although in their mind, leaders do not think they are discriminating until it is presented to them and then comes the shame, anger, and other emotions; the main one being to shut down and not discuss anything related to diversity, inclusion, discrimination, etc.

Those in leadership positions must get over being uncomfortable and acknowledge the elephant in the room. (Do you think it is comforting being the only person of color (or female) in a room, team, building, etc.?) Yes, you treat your team members differently…now ask yourself why. Are you focused on knowledge, skills, and abilities; or are you incorporating biases that are affecting how you lead?

For example, as a leader, you cannot say to a person how you believe they have the ability to be a leader (manager, great “x”) in the organization but before you can promote them you would “like to see them have more experience in X.” Then on the other hand promote others and say “I will teach you what you do not know.” The inconsistency can cause feelings of discrimination when that was not the intent.

In the Sanders article, she describes the underlying feeling of rage regarding racism and sexism. Let’s be clear, people of color do not see every slight as racist; just as every woman does not feel that every slight is sexism. Yes, there are times when discrimination is the cause, no one can deny that; however, there are times where it is just a bad break. This is when communication from leadership is key. This is not about justification of a decision made, it is about sharing the process of how the decision was made. It is about sharing the vision so that members of the organization can listen, understand, and determine their part in the vision.

There are three key areas in helping to create a diverse organization – respect individuality, consistency in leadership, and communication (this is not an all-encompassing list). As long as any one of these areas is overlooked, no diversity and inclusion initiative can be successful.

#diversity